I'm only a true procrastinator about 40% of the time: these are the times when I refuse to lend myself a hand and end up doing absolutely nothing (see: Masters thesis writing when I would trek my fat ass down to the grocery stuff to purchase entire boxes of little white donuts of death instead of writing).
Instead, when I procrastinate (aka the other 60% of the time), what I'm truly doing is what I call "productive procrastination" where I basically spin my wheels going back and forth. It's like second guessing yourself continuously - to the point that you never get anywhere.
And that's where I am with the course prep. As I explained to a co-worker yesterday, I should be putting aside the syllabus in favour of actually working on lectures. Basically I should bit the bullet and just submit the syllabus and live with my film choices when the time comes.
Instead (of course) what I'm doing is trying to find 'perfect' films and readings to populate the course. Should I include The Big Lebowski, or Liquid Sky, or Repo Man? Maybe repopulate certain weeks with more Lynch (Eraserhead, Wild at Heart or my personal mindfuck Lost Highway)? And what about readings? If they don't reference cult films, should I include them or can I allow my students to make the connection between a film and a reading without having to bridge them like a concerned parent?
I know the answer to all (well...most) of these questions, but I just can't make up my mind to commit. So my question to you all is...how do you commit to something?
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