In which we...Digest "Jennifer's Body"

Hello Salty readers! I'm back and clearly I was dearly missed by all 3 of you.

I'm going to try and update this thing more frequently as part of an ongoing "self-improvement" strategy. The goal is more or less to get back into writing, which effectively makes this blog a glorified writing exercise. Hopefully it'll read better than my grade 10 assignments!

Moving on...

Let's ease back into things gently, shall we? Nothing's easier than  a film review...in this case the 2009 Diablo Cody penned Jennifer's Body, the big-ole-flop starring Megan "Bee Sting Lips" Fox and cutie Amanda Seyfried. The plot in a nutshell is the tale of two BFFs - one pretty and one plain (insert laugh track here) - who find themselves at the center of a satanic plot initiated by an untalented band of emo musicians. After a fiery performance at the local bar, the band sacrifices the virginal Jennifer to the devil in exchange for wealth and fame. Problem is that Jennifer hasn't been a virgin "since junior high" so instead of having the good grace to die, she becomes a succubus who has to eat the local boys in order to stay extra salty (that's Diablo Cody speak for pretty). Naturally Seyfried's character, Needy (insert obvious metaphor here), is the only one who's not a clueless dumbass and has to battle the she-bitch before she consumes Needy's cute-but-not-hot boyfriend.

Blah blah blah

My biggest problem with the film is that it assumes it's a fresh and exciting take on a familiar subject, but in reality it's just a HS possession film with pop-culture infused dialogue. Sure some of the lines pop, and Seyfried is never boring (Fox still can't act, but considering all she has to do is vamp around in low tops she manages not to sink the entire enterprise), but all in all we've seen this all before...and we've seen it done better.

I spent 9/10s of the movie thinking how much better Ginger Snaps did the same story, except that it was smart enough to layer in a metaphor of lycanthropy as menstruation. Jennifer's Body does no such thing, except for a male-baiting lesbian subtext that fails to truly develop (Jennifer eats the boys Needy likes and they share a surprisingly heavy make-out session for a Hollywood film). Whether this is Cody trying to make a truly feminist teen horror film is uncertain, since it mostly reads like a marketing strategy to suck in guys who want to see the girls play tonsil hockey.

So overall it was an entertaining, if not completely enjoyable film. It killed 1 hr and 40 mins but good!

Here's what a few others thought (since I like to volley my opinion off of others):
Ebert: It's better than it has to be
Salon.com: I can't remember the last time I saw such a naked display of opportunism and exploitation at the movies
RollingStone: It's the smarts in the script by Juno's Diablo Cody that sneak up on you (Travers is never too difficult to please)

Check out the Red Band trailer here (ohhh adult content!)
Or do yourself a favour and check out the Ginger Snaps trailer here (ohhh Canadian content!)

The Most Un-Watched List

Having recently contributed my first post to my friend's online magazine (Cult)ure on the topic of reflection (timed to coincide with the start of the new year - natch), I got to thinking about lists.

We love lists. I'm fairly sure it's quite high on the "stuff white people like" meter, mostly because it allows us an opportunity to categorize and manage parts of our daily lives. Grocery lists tell us what to pick up, black lists tell us which exes to avoid and movie lists...well movie lists either tell us what we should be watching or what we're missing.

Looking around my apartment I realized that I don't ever need to rent another movie...or leave the house again. Over the years I've managed to collect an astounding number of films that I have never cracked open, much less popped in the DVD player. And so, in the spirit of the post-holiday sharing season, I thought that I could at least draft a list of all of my most famous ohmygod-you're-a-film-student-and-you-haven't-seen-this un-watched films (partially compiled from IMDB's top 250):

The Godfather Part 2
North By Northwest
Lawrence of Arabia
The Pianist
Das Boot
Rashomon
Raging Bull
The Apartment
The Great Escape
Braveheart
The Manchurian Candidate
Cool Hand Luke
It Happened One Night
The Deer Hunter
Ben-Hur
Platoon
Into The Wild
Life of Brian
Diabolique
8 1/2
Dog Day Afternoon
Network
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
All the President's Men
Ghandi
Harvey
Groundhog Day
The African Queen
The Hustler
Midnight Cowboy
Umberto D
The Conversation
Casino
Anatomy of a Murder
Patton
Glory
Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf?
Spartacus
In The Heat of The Night
Manhattan
Roman Holiday
Rocky
La Dolce Vida
Harold and Maude

xoxo CW???

Hmmm...interesting news coming out of this week's upfronts (during which networks present their Fall slate of new and returning TV shows).

It appears that time may be running out for the CW - the barely two year old network put together Frankenstein-style from the rotting carcasses of the WB and UPN. This is slightly scary news for me since I have a vested interest in several of the CW shows, which would promptly die should such horrible fate away the network. Apparently the ratings have nosedived between 24 - 28% from last year, which wasn't too much to write home about to begin with.

This despite the major buzz for their critically well received pilots such as Gossip Girl (my new favourite guilty pleasure) and Reaper (which I found repetitive, but has apparently improved steadily following the writers' strike). Apparently the network has one more year to show its mettle, so it better hope that the reincarnated 90210 and other teen-girl targeted shows take off or else it might be xoxo for the former frog net!

Read the story here

P.s. In case you were wondering my true investment in the under-twenty net is Supernatural, a criminally overlooked gem of a show about demon fighting (hot) brothers.

Crunch Time...

Well peeps...this is it. I've given myself a self-imposed deadline of tomorrow, which means that I need to make my final decisions and stand by them. It's a daunting process, but even I can see that I'm dragging my feet and if it absolutely came down to it, I can change a film or reading without horrible, horrible consequences.

At the same time, the syllabus is delaying my ability to go beyond and actually start working on the course. If there's one thing I learned last time, it was to put less focus on the films/readings and make sure the rest of the course is taken care of. It's like focusing on your outline instead of your report...there's still a lot of wiggle room between the proposal and the end result!

And so I need to make two final decisions:

1) I've scrapped the slasher week in favour of the more specific (and enjoyable) giallo week. I now have to find a giallo that embodies all the typical characteristics, but which is also comprehensible (this can be a problem).

I'm tempted to show Argento's Deep Red, but the narrative literally makes no sense, which can make it a difficult viewing experience. The Bird with the Crystal Plummage was good, but not spectacular, leaving me with Tenebrae or Opera, although I haven't watched the latter).

2) I can't decide which film to program first. Rocky Horror works best as a second class film when I can properly put it in context (aka preface the musical numbers, the reception of the film, the midnight revivals, the dress-ups). So what to show for the first week? I'm still considering Donnie Darko because it's recognizable but not that many people have seen it.

At the same time, part of me wants to go in a completely new direction and program something really off-kilter like Liquid Sky (an alien drug/sex movie)...

3) I also can't decide which film to end on. I'm going to do a recent film to demonstrate how new cult films riff on previous ones using a collage/homage style method (ex: any Tarantino or Rodriguez film, but I was specifically thinking of Planet Terror from Grindhouse) OR a film that may become a cult film or is an example of a failed cult film (ex: so bad it may be good "hot mess" Southland Tales)

Decisions, decisions!

Then and Now: A Tale of Two Robyns

Alright, I know I said I wouldn't be including too much music posts in the blog, but how can I resist when I find out that my new favourite music artist is also one of my favourite mid-90s artists?! Alright, somewhat rhetorical considering I obviously didn't resist...or at least not too long.

Blame it on the Entertainment Weekly review of her album which "dropped" (I love that saying) last week against Dame Madge. Apparently Robyn reinvented herself following her formative years as a young pop starlet. Sure she still sings super catchy music, but she's also descended into that underworld den of sin: electronica.

Let's review: old Robyn was a little sugary (listen to her too much and you get a tooth ache) but hit the tops of the charts with songs like Show Me Love and Do You Really Love Me (Show Respect). Apparently she never got over show and tell?

New Robyn is steeped in dance culture, with heavy beat backgrounds, vocal synthesizers, repetitive lyrics and even some rap (?!). You can hear old Robyn in there, but in my eyes it appears as though she's seized control of her career (and songwriting abilities). She'll probably never have another pop radio hit, but I guarantee dance afficiandos have already heard her number one dance track With Every Heartbeat.

Check out the transformation yourself!

Old vs New. Be warned - her fashion sense has gotten worse! In all fairness, though, she is Swedish.

Download This: Handle Me & Who's That Girl. If you want to try the rap try Konichiwa Bitches or Cobrastyle (with a Gnarls Barkley sample)

When Animals Attack...

Anyone who's ever set foot in a classroom understands the student / teacher dynamic. It is generally understood that it is the teacher who is in charge and they provide guidance, wisdom and occasionally clarification for students.


Well that's definitely the ideal, but it doesn't always go that way. As a student I always hated professors who acted as though students' opinions were irrelevant because they weren't the teacher. This overlooks the fact that students can sometimes approach material in new and exciting ways, or simply that topics are sometimes best taught when the approach is questioned.


This isn't to say that I love a challenging student...in fact it's something that terrifies a lot of teachers and why so many are afraid of discussion in the classroom.


My approach is generally one of tolerance. I like to let other people have their say, even if it sometimes mean I have to go on the defensive to defend my choices or interpretation. That's what makes class fun!


Of course, I think subconsciously I try to keep these situations to a minimum by choosing subjects that most people are not as familiar with (ie: fewer people know slasher films than Meryl Streep or even Wayan Brothers films). However, when you do get that one student who knows every giallo and corrects your pronounciation - it's definitely a daunting experience.


For this reason I typically over-prepare. Which is what this whole post has been about: the fact that I'm trying to cram as many cult films down my gullet as possible before July.


So tonight's film was Long Weekend (1977). When it arrived in the mail earlier this week (thanks zip.ca!) I couldn't even remember what it was. It sounded suspicious to a horror film I watched to prep for last year's course (or was that Death Weekend?). Then I remembered: this is the movie when nature fights back!


Definitely an interesting plot, and one I'll skirt the edges of because it is most definitely worth checking out. The film takes place in Australia (that makes two with the recent Mad Max - is anyone else sensing a theme?) and focuses on a dysfunctional couple trying to repair their marriage with a weekend camping trip. Of course there are signs that things are not going to work out for the best, from the bickering between the protags to the hit and run of a poor kangaroo on the road. The fact that the locals don't seem to know anything about their destination or the mysterious RV down the beach doesn't bode well either.


Without getting into it too much, this is a film about awful city folk getting their asses handed to them when they step outside the concrete jungle. To detail what they go through would ruin the surprise, although I should mention that this ain't exactly your blockbuster style film (boobs in the trailer? It must be foreign...and from the 70s!) In any case, it's a high recommend with a ton of atmosphere, so look for it at Glebe or Invisible Cinema...or wait for the inevitable Hollywood remake starring Jim Caviezel (Jesus!) later this year.


P.S. Please disregard the atrociously lame teaser (Their only crime was against nature...and nature found them guilty! ha ha ha). The marketing people who come up with this kind of schlock deserve a special brand of justice for that kind of shit.

Productive Procrastination / Commitment Issues

I'm only a true procrastinator about 40% of the time: these are the times when I refuse to lend myself a hand and end up doing absolutely nothing (see: Masters thesis writing when I would trek my fat ass down to the grocery stuff to purchase entire boxes of little white donuts of death instead of writing).

Instead, when I procrastinate (aka the other 60% of the time), what I'm truly doing is what I call "productive procrastination" where I basically spin my wheels going back and forth. It's like second guessing yourself continuously - to the point that you never get anywhere.

And that's where I am with the course prep. As I explained to a co-worker yesterday, I should be putting aside the syllabus in favour of actually working on lectures. Basically I should bit the bullet and just submit the syllabus and live with my film choices when the time comes.

Instead (of course) what I'm doing is trying to find 'perfect' films and readings to populate the course. Should I include The Big Lebowski, or Liquid Sky, or Repo Man? Maybe repopulate certain weeks with more Lynch (Eraserhead, Wild at Heart or my personal mindfuck Lost Highway)? And what about readings? If they don't reference cult films, should I include them or can I allow my students to make the connection between a film and a reading without having to bridge them like a concerned parent?

I know the answer to all (well...most) of these questions, but I just can't make up my mind to commit. So my question to you all is...how do you commit to something?