In which we...Digest "Jennifer's Body"

Hello Salty readers! I'm back and clearly I was dearly missed by all 3 of you.

I'm going to try and update this thing more frequently as part of an ongoing "self-improvement" strategy. The goal is more or less to get back into writing, which effectively makes this blog a glorified writing exercise. Hopefully it'll read better than my grade 10 assignments!

Moving on...

Let's ease back into things gently, shall we? Nothing's easier than  a film review...in this case the 2009 Diablo Cody penned Jennifer's Body, the big-ole-flop starring Megan "Bee Sting Lips" Fox and cutie Amanda Seyfried. The plot in a nutshell is the tale of two BFFs - one pretty and one plain (insert laugh track here) - who find themselves at the center of a satanic plot initiated by an untalented band of emo musicians. After a fiery performance at the local bar, the band sacrifices the virginal Jennifer to the devil in exchange for wealth and fame. Problem is that Jennifer hasn't been a virgin "since junior high" so instead of having the good grace to die, she becomes a succubus who has to eat the local boys in order to stay extra salty (that's Diablo Cody speak for pretty). Naturally Seyfried's character, Needy (insert obvious metaphor here), is the only one who's not a clueless dumbass and has to battle the she-bitch before she consumes Needy's cute-but-not-hot boyfriend.

Blah blah blah

My biggest problem with the film is that it assumes it's a fresh and exciting take on a familiar subject, but in reality it's just a HS possession film with pop-culture infused dialogue. Sure some of the lines pop, and Seyfried is never boring (Fox still can't act, but considering all she has to do is vamp around in low tops she manages not to sink the entire enterprise), but all in all we've seen this all before...and we've seen it done better.

I spent 9/10s of the movie thinking how much better Ginger Snaps did the same story, except that it was smart enough to layer in a metaphor of lycanthropy as menstruation. Jennifer's Body does no such thing, except for a male-baiting lesbian subtext that fails to truly develop (Jennifer eats the boys Needy likes and they share a surprisingly heavy make-out session for a Hollywood film). Whether this is Cody trying to make a truly feminist teen horror film is uncertain, since it mostly reads like a marketing strategy to suck in guys who want to see the girls play tonsil hockey.

So overall it was an entertaining, if not completely enjoyable film. It killed 1 hr and 40 mins but good!

Here's what a few others thought (since I like to volley my opinion off of others):
Ebert: It's better than it has to be
Salon.com: I can't remember the last time I saw such a naked display of opportunism and exploitation at the movies
RollingStone: It's the smarts in the script by Juno's Diablo Cody that sneak up on you (Travers is never too difficult to please)

Check out the Red Band trailer here (ohhh adult content!)
Or do yourself a favour and check out the Ginger Snaps trailer here (ohhh Canadian content!)